Ah, l’amour. Spring is in the air (in the northern hemisphere any way). I felt I should do something for St. Valentine’s day, that feast of chocolate, fizzy alcohol, food, and I’m sure there’s something else… Oh. yes, meditation, that’s it!
I have seen many posts in spiritual groups on facebook that when someone becomes spiritual and sees themselves and the world differently than before, they find themselves isolated, alone and different to other people. Having been in a similar position quite a few years ago got me thinking what it was like for me.
Some people are OK being on their own (as one person told me: there is a difference to being alone, and being lonely). Some people want a companion to see the world at least partially as they themselves do and share the journey and have mutual support Some want the physical love and affection.
What is striking is the sense of isolation and of being different to others that waking up to a new way of being incurs. It can feel disheartening and depressing.
What to do?
Some people might try to visualise and affirm they are going to meet the perfect person for them, and try to use laws of attraction and other energy techniques and ceremonies.
If meeting someone is in their karma then it will happen. If there is opportunistic karma it is going to happen, provided the person concerned does something. That something is highly unlikely to be staying in their room, flat or house. They have to get out into the world.
There is online dating, but dating services for spiritually inclined people are not massive, and it is worth remembering that your guide and your Higher Self wants you to get it right.
Most often people come across that wonderful special future partner when they aren’t making a special effort, they are instead being themselves, being content and happy, living a life that feels meaningful. They are not looking, searching or yearning for the person of their desires to plug a hole in their life. Neediness is a turn-off, and is not magnetic to attracting in a lovely person.
If a person has a sense of wholeness (rather than holeness) they have a better energy that people pick up on. That other person senses the vibes in a couple of seconds and they do a quick, albeit usually subconscious scan with their third eye.
A relationship isn’t 0 + 1 = 1/2, where the person searching feels empty and is zero, and the other person of their dreams is the whole one. It is synergystic, where 1 + 1 = at least two.
Generalising, creating a life that you love is the first step to having something to offer.
Next step, step out into the world. Be yourself. For some people that can mean wear and look like whatever. Other folk might be more deliberate about this. Part of human nature is about highlighting your good points that you think others will appreciate that are a statement about yourself.
If you feel confident about going up to a stranger or aquaintance and striking up a conversation or asking them out for a date then great. (I only did this when exceptionally motivated though I reckon I was given a push by that lot Upstairs when they saw fit. Mostly I was far too shy.)
I lived in London, and there was / is a thriving spiritual and therapeutic culture, so it was easy to meet people. I used to go to workshops either to learn about an aspect of spirituality, or get some healing. I would also go on training courses to develop therapeutic skills. In those kind of settings I realised I got to know people. I would work with them, and at the breaks and mealtimes we would eat and chat, and if it was a long course, we would perhaps socialize as a group or perhaps I would socialize with one other person. It wasn’t a case of thinking about getting a girlfriend, it was about being in the moment and having a great time with some wonderful people. Some good friendships grew out of this, and also a couple of deeper relationships flourished over the years.
Thinking about today, not everyone will be living in a city or town with a lively spiritual scene. Then there is the internet. Great for contacting people all over the world, but not as great as being able to be physically with other people, or as great as having a lot of spiritually-minded people all together in a way they get to interact with each other.
For that to happen someone has to get the ball rolling to arrange physical meet-ups and events. Card reading evenings, sharing and meditation, group walks to spiritual sites, a meditation first and then a barbeque… There has to plenty of ways to get people together talking.
If you are out of your home, going someplace new, say being a visitor to a new place or being a tourist, you can meet new people. You could meet someone just right. It isn’t something that can be forced. If you are relaxed and going with the flow, and letting yourself be nudged by your intuition, then if it it is going to happen that you meet someone, you will.